Thursday, November 27, 2008

Some Heartfelt Fuck-yous

It is the 27th of Nov 2008 and Mumbai is under attack. A wonderful occasion to convey a few heartfelt feelings. So here goes.

  • My first heartfelt fuck-you goes out to the Indian security agencies for failing yet again. Every 30 days, we have gruesome terrorist attacks on one of our cities. It happens with clockwork precision and you guys have not been able to stop them. This time, we do not have a sneaky car bomb. What we have is an organized military assault on civilian establishments. As expected, you guys had no clue. If you continue with your present form, we will surely end up with many more of these attacks and you will not be able to stop them. So, fuck you.
  • Another humongous fuck-you goes out to the Indian government. You have completely failed to protect the Indian citizen. You had been hired to do so, and you have completely underperformed. Please grow a pair and quit. Stand up and call yourself the failure and incompetent dolt that you are.
  • A large, juicy fuck-you for me and the rest of the Indian people. We have never ever demanded from the government any form of accountability. We have been happily paying our taxes to a bunch of fat-cats who have done nothing to protect us. Everybody is carrying a gun and shooting at random. The only person who is not armed is the innocent law-abiding citizen. There are one of two things we can do -- (a) Stand up and ask the government for answers, or (b) stand up and ask the government for the right to bear arms. We have asked for neither. So, fuck us.
  • Last but not the least, a huge fuck-you to Deepak Chopra. Deepak Chopra, fuck-you. Here is the deal. If you do not know squat about foreign relations and terrorism, please do not talk about them on CNN. Please go and con morons with your meaningless books. You and your air-headed readership deserve each other. The rest of humanity does not deserve you. We already have a lot of bad juju going on and we do not need a numbskull like you acting as the expert on what is going on. Please keep your inane instant solutions for the whole terrorism problem to yourself. Your stupidity makes my teeth grind. So Deepak Chopra, please, please shut the fuck up and go away.