Chepa Mach, Shidol, Ngaari in the DC Metropolitan Area !!

I by nature am not a very helpful person. However there comes a time when one is armed with such invaluable knowledge that one has to pass it on. As the spiderman movies have so wisely opined -- "With great power comes great responsibility."

So ladies and gentlemen, here is the momentous news. After two months of frenzied and single-minded research, I have been able to, in my DC Metropolitan Area apartment, create a full bodied, volcanic, sweat-inducing shidol-chutney, completely from locally procured resources. A significant portion of my scant readership is now raising the Questioning Eyebrow and saying "Eh ? Shidol what ?". So I proceed to do some light-shedding. To the faithful, Shidol is also known as Hidol, Ngaari, Sepa Maach and Tungtap among other hallowed names. The faithless however prefer to term it as that-fermented-fish-from-stinky-hell. This treatise is for the faithful.

Any true aficionado of the Shidol-Chutney realises that there are two essential ingredients which make the soul of the chutney. The first being the awe-inspiring and volcanic Naga Morich or a pepper/chilly of equal potential. The second of course, is the Shidol itself. Once armed with these two, the rest is personal artistry. Here is how one may go about procuring them:
How To Get the Shidol:


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The location depicted above houses a row of Bangladeshi stores. Some of them do stock frozen Shidol. Ask for Sepa Maach or Shidol. They are not as fragrant as the ones one is wont to have, but they do serve very very well.
How to get the Naga Morich:
Sadly, the Naga Morich is not be found around here. One however has a more-than-passable substitute. One can drop into any supermarket and pick up a bunch of one of the Scotch Bonnet peppers. The Habanero variety is the best of the lot. After some experimentation, I have arrived at the conclusion that about two of these peppers amount to one small Naga Morich. These peppers however are not as fragrant as the Indian counterparts. So, one could contemplate adding a slice of a red bell pepper for the fragrance. So in review, if you crush two habanero peppers with a slice of red bell pepper, you get one Naga Morich.

I shall not explain the method for actually making the chutney because the ingredients and proportions in ones chutney are deeply personal nobody can tell one how to do it. One just knows.

UPDATE : On the Bhoot Jolokia / Naga Morich. If possible, use this one in the chutney

On Watching Hyderabad Blues - 2

Me: You know what sweetie ? I really did not like the movie....

G.: Why ? It is a tolerable movie. Is it not ?

Me: No it is not that. The point is, that I really cannot relate to all this stuff... This family thingy... you know ? All this sipping tea on the balcony; All this baby planning, and all that stuff.. you know ? That is not really me. It is not my type of storyline. Not my kind of movie. I just am not able relate to all that stuff...

G.: Aaah.. I see... Not the kind of movie you identify with... Let me see... The kind of movie that you would identify with, would be about a guy, who spends all his time at home watching TV, or surfing the net. So, this guy's wife gets very angry. Really angry. So, this wife ends up brutally murdering her husband with a shiny meat-cleaver. Get the picture ? Now does that sound like a movie you could easily relate to ? Huh ?

Me: Yeah... probably... What ?

Lessons as King of the Apartment

Unbeknownst to the common multitudes, there exists a bunch of parallel universes. The most notable and well known among them of course is the ballpoint pen universe where all ball point pens and whiteboard markers silently slip away, never to return when one's attention is directed towards the keyboard. A not very well known example however is the rather tersely addressed onsite. For the benefit of the unaware, I put forth the facts. This particular variety of parallel universe is well known to individuals who are acquainted or related to those merry souls dabbling in the very lucrative Information Technology racket. Onsite is that nebulous alternate reality into which one's acquaintance shall disappear into for protracted periods of time and emerge after this period with significant alterations in wardrobe, girth, hairstyle, accent and marital status.

Having armed my scant readership with the essential facts, I would now like to unship the sad news that G., (the light of my life) has also gone onsite. When I confer the title of the light of my life to her, I do not do so with the frivolity of a traipsing teenager. G., over all these years has been singularly responsible for also paying my electricity bills apart from the other assorted collection of ransom notes which invariably rear their ugly heads at the beginning of every month. Now, left to my own devices, I foresee darkness.

Every tumultuous dark cloud however is not bereft of its silver lining and these dark times too are not devoid of merit. We are all aware of that old saw about a man's home being some sort of a castle and the man in question being the king of that castle thingy and we also are equally well aware that it really is all tish-tosh. I have however decided to implement the word and spirit of this old saying. I am therefore proud to break the news that due to the very regrettable temporary absence of G., I (completely disregarding prevalent laws) have proclaimed myself as Actual King of my proverbial castle, thereby elevating my status from that of a piece of coveted furniture to the lord and master of the limited 1200 square feet I survey. I am sorry, but I am quite drunk with power. I however feel obliged to admit that apart from the power, there might also be an assortment of other potent stuff which might be responsible for my inebriation these days, but shall not do so because it really is not of any relevance in this particular discussion. In my prudent nature however, I am aware of the temporal nature of this high position of advantage I hold and ere I relinquish it to the proper authorities, have decided to document below the salient points and revelations of this heady experience.

Revelations and Learnings:

The good news is that leaving the wet towel on the bed after that refreshing shower is not cataclysmic. We have been led to believe that this act is responsible for bad things like the WWII and the way Hrithik Roshan dances, but it is not true. It however does leave your bed and the surrounding environs smelling like a goat.

That thing called the refrigerator is actually useful. It is not one of those wall hanging thingies one is forced to spend hard earned money on, but finds no practical use for. When not crammed with indigenously formulated facepacks, organic vegetables and the wide array of leftovers, the contraption is fully capable of storing a significant percentage of one's 24 pack of Fosters with significant residual acreage for the soda (which we all know goes well with the whisky). Quite miraculously, after all that, it even has some space for the cold meats and the mustard which we all know are of vital importance when the heart thirsts for that sandwich to go with the beer. In all honesty, I am rather pleased with the my refrigerator's recent form.

The division of the happy home into specifically purposed rooms always has been a bit inexplicable. After some research, I am happy to announce that it is all really bunkum. It is yet another superfluous, extravagant superstition. One may successfully maintain the status of a healthy, balanced and happy individual by having dinner, watching television, and going off to sleep at the same point of space. There is absolutely no requirement for one to frantically move from point to point for each of the above mentioned activities. All things may be executed from the same place and that venerated location being in front of the television.

Tags: Situations, refrigerators, onsite