Friday, June 01, 2007

About Afternoon Naps at the Workplace

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a lazy man with access to a voluminous free lunch must be in want of a quick nap in the afternoon. Although I have deep appreciation and respect for the above mentioned want, I would like to warn one and all against yielding to such an urge when one is in the workplace. It is an indulgence fraught with peril, as I have very recently discovered. I am aware of the fact that the robust section of my scant readership would collectively ejaculate a scornful "Pah !" at my marked pusillanimity, but I would like to warn the robust section that such a cavalier attitude is in fact, utter foolhardiness. Allow me to describe the the dangers surrounding the whole exercise.

All skill practitioners of the afternoon-nap-at-the-workplace fully realize the importance of being sufficiently horizontal for the successful execution of the activity. The new-fangled ergonomic chairs at the workplace however, do not agree with one's desire to be horizontal. They actively oppose any such effort on the part of the aspiring napper. This inflexible stance on the part of the stiff chair then necessitates the lifting of the feet onto the desk, while sitting on the chair. This approach, in one fell swoop, neutralizes the inconveniences introduced by the obduracy of the chair. The chair however does not take this whole scheme too well. Having been relegated from it prior position of power, the alienated chair, in an act of existential angst, decides to tip over with a raucous clang. Due to this sudden development, one is left with one's feet on the desk and the rest of the anatomy suspended in mid-air. The astute reader will have realized that such a juxtaposition between man and desk cannot be maintained for a protracted period of time. So, one falls down, while one's feet are still resting on the desk. During the descent, one's head catches the edge of the laptop. Also, in an act of self preservation, one tries to grab at something which might break the fall. One therefore grabs the keyboard. The keyboard however, magnanimously decides to join the descent.

When the dust settles, one realizes that one still has his feet on the desk, while the rest of the person is uniformly dissolved in a concoction of cables, keyboard, chair and floor. One also finds the pretty girl in the adjoining cubicle peering into one's remains, and making polite queries regarding one's general health. Muffled laughter is heard in the background.

5 comments:

Dinesh said...

This exactly is the reason that made me stay away from workplace. The perks of being a 40 years old student, you can snore away to glory on the lab couch right after morning coffee.

Anonymous said...

pah!!

SOLA VIVIT IN ILLO said...

Came back after a long time. Had a hearty laugh :)

Cheers!

Aparna said...

Hilarious.....!!!!

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

How about twinning? Get somebody well-padded to counter-balance your chair?